changing your life

My New Years Resolution: to Be More Desperate

I think being desperate gets a bad rap. I actually think it’s the key to changing your life.


Feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.

If your back’s against the wall, you have to take action. If the situation’s impossible to deal with, you simply MUST change it.

I had a friend ask shortly after I moved to Berlin how I did it. How did I manage to unhook from the machine, to re-locate, re-imagine and further more re-establish a whole new me in a place I had previously never even thought to go? And then she did something classically “American”- she asked for the CliffsNotes version. “I just need the main bullets, the summary of steps- the quick program- because you seem happy and I want to be happy too!”

But it’s like Wesley so aptly said to Buttercup, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. ”

There is no self-help program that will fix everyone because there are no two people exactly alike. Being from a world full of “wonder supplements” and “5 steps to a better life”- I know this socially frenzied desire to get results quick all too well. But the one thing that can and will get you to a place of true revolution the fastest is extreme discomfort- aka: desperation.

I often sit across from freelancers and small business owners who are at the end of their rope. Sometimes this is not the case; sometimes they are just incredibly frustrated. They tell me how hard it is or how lost they often feel. I usually find myself telling them that this is great news. They just stare at me a bit dumbfounded. But the simple secret is this: only when conditions are terrible do the people take to the streets. Kings and queens can not be overthrown unless the people are substantially pissed off. It’s like this with New Year’s resolutions. Have you ever tried to quit smoking? You have to be desperate for change- done with that particular behavior before you decide to actually stop. This can give you hope to permanently overthrow it. It is only when you are at the end of something that you are truly ready to start something else.

So, if you are desperate in any aspect of your life or work or relationships, congrats! This means you could be on the brink of something new and beautiful…

May our despiration lead to beautiful and lasting change.

2 thoughts on “My New Years Resolution: to Be More Desperate”

  1. Pingback: Shaleah Dawnyel Green = GO: 3 Steps for creating change

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